Exit Interviews
& Other Healthy Church Strategies
Helping the ministry and outreach of your church
by learning from those who leave.
A New Life Ministries
Report
by Steve Clapp and Kristen Leverton Helbert
STOP for a few moments to
consider what can be learned from those who leave your congregation. The
membership of any church is continually changing. Some members leave and others
arrive. This reality includes both those who are official members of the
congregation and those who choose to be active constituents but not to formalize
their membership. Some congregations have discovered that much can be gained
from exit interviews with those who are leaving the congregation, regardless of
the reason for their departure. The main purposes of exit interviews with
persons leaving a congregation are:
-
To affirm that the person who is leaving has been
a valued part of the congregation by showing that his or her opinions and
feelings are important.
- To gain opportunity to learn more about the strengths and weaknesses of
the congregation from the perspective of one who is leaving.
The person doing the exit interview
The exit interview should be conducted by a person in the congregation who is
comfortable in the role of a careful listener and who is able to communicate
warmth and affirmation to others. It is important for the person doing the
interview not to become defensive if criticisms of the congregation or the staff
are made during the exit interview. If the interview is being conducted with a
couple or a family, then it is all right for two people to share as interviewers
if they wish. If the interview is only with one person, then it should only be
conducted by one person. Teenagers should generally be interviewed separately
from their parents.
What to cover in the interview
The questions or steps which follow are designed to create a reasonable flow
for the interview. In many instances, once conversation has begun, it will
continue to flow at its own rate; and in those instances, it may be best not to
worry about going through these questions and steps in sequence.
1. Begin by expressing
appreciation for the person's involvement in the life of the church. Then
explain again that the church hopes to learn from the experiences the person has
had in the congregation.
2. How did you become connected
with our congregation? If the person has grown up in the church, invite him or
her to share what it was like to be a child and a teenager in the congregation.
If the person has become involved in the church as an adult, find out what
initially attracted him or her to the congregation.
3. Then ask the person to talk
about the reasons for his or her departure from the congregation. It may be as
simple as a geographic relocation for work or retirement. Or it may involve
needs which the church was unable to meet. If the person is not comfortable
saying a lot about the
reasons for leaving, do not push. More will come as you continue the interview
process. In some cases, the person may be very forthcoming and have a lot to
say. When that happens, you may find that many of the interview questions or
stages which follow are covered simply by the flow of the conversation.
4. To what extent have you
experienced warmth and friendliness in the life of the congregation? Do you
think this is a friendly congregation? Why, or why not? Encourage the person to
share examples and be as specific as possible about the factors which have made
the church seem friendly or unfriendly. Do you feel that people in this
congregation care about one another in a significant way? Why, or why not?
5. How do you feel about worship
in this congregation? To what extent have the worship services met your
spiritual needs? Do you have any suggestions to offer for the improvement of
our worship experiences?
6. With what programs or services
in addition to worship have you had involvement? To what extent have those
programs or services met your needs? Are there improvements that you would
suggest for any of those programs? Are there additional programs or
opportunities which our congregation should offer?
7. How do you feel about the staff
of our congregation? What do you see as the strengths of our staff? In what
areas are improvements needed? Do you think our congregation is adequately
staffed relative to our membership size? Why, or why not?
8. What observations do you have
about our physical facilities? What have you most appreciated about our
facilities? What improvements do you think could be made to our facilities?
9. I've asked you to respond to
questions about several areas of the life of the church. Do you have other
observations about the congregation which you would like to share?
10. Close by thanking the person
for the interview and affirming again appreciation for that person's involvement
in the life of the church. You may wish to share a short prayer of thanksgiving
together.
Arranging the interview
The exit interview should be done by appointment. At the time of making the
appointment, it should be made clear that this is a procedure that the church
likes to do with everyone who leaves the congregation, whatever the reason, and
that the church is seeking to learn from the experiences of the person who is
leaving. The interview can be conducted in the home of the person who is
leaving, at a restaurant, or at the church--depending on what is most
comfortable to the person who is leaving. An invitation to share breakfast or
lunch sometimes makes the process seem more informal and comfortable. If a
couple is leaving, it's fine to interview them at the same time unless you have
reason to believe that the sharing will be more frank if they are interviewed
separately.
Making notes
The person conducting the interview will normally want to make some notes
during the visit. That shows that the interview is being taken seriously and
also makes it easier to recall the most important information shared. Use a
small notepad for notes if doing the interview in a restaurant. Write a short
report of what was learned from the interview as soon as possible, while one's
memory is still fresh. Some people will prefer not to make notes during the
interview and to write it immediately afterwards. Some congregations may want
to develop a printed form with question/steps and space for responses to be
written. Do NOT ask to tape record the interview, which will make the process
too formal and will inhibit open responses.
Reports
As already mentioned, prepare a report on what was learned from the interview
as soon as possible. The report will be most useful if it is not too long and
shares only the observations of most significance. Have a designated person in
the church who receives reports from all exit interviews and studies them for
common themes. That person should share words of appreciation and suggestions
for change with relevant leaders and organizations in the congregation.
It is important not to overreact or under react to comments made in the
interviews. Suppose, for example, that the person leaving says that he or she
just can't relate to the sermons of the pastor and finds them difficult to
understand. That doesn't necessarily mean that your pastor is an ineffective
preacher. It may simply mean that your pastor's style just did not connect with
the person who is leaving. If you find that several persons who are leaving
feel the same way about an issue, however, then that concern needs to be
addressed.
Suppose that the person leaving shares in the interview that the nursery room
seems dingy and not particularly pleasant. There may be an initial tendency to
be defensive about that. The truth, however, is often that we grow so
accustomed to the appearance of our facilities that we don't notice when
updating is needed. Use the comments as a basis for taking a fresh look at
things.
And be sure to share positive feedback from the interviews. If the person being
interviewed says that the pastor changed his or her life in a wonderful way,
tell the pastor! If the person leaving says that the Sunday school class was
like a family and helped through tough times, be sure the Sunday school class
receives that feedback.
An educated congregation makes the difference in hospitality and outreach
Almost all congregations see themselves as being warm and friendly. While
that is sometimes true, especially at the level of smiles and handshakes for
visitors on Sunday morning, many churches which conduct exit interviews find
that there are people who leave because they never felt fully integrated into
the social fabric of the congregation. True biblical hospitality attracts
people to the church, motivates existing members to reach out to others, and
helps people develop deep relationships which nurture the spiritual life as well
as congregational loyalty.
In a recent Christian Community study of young adults, older adults, and the
church, the TOP factor young adults identified in feeling good about a
congregation was the experience of genuine warmth and hospitality. While
exciting worship and meaningful classes or small groups were important, nothing
approached the importance of warmth, hospitality, and acceptance.
The same study, however, showed that many adults in the church, whether young or
old, do not feel prepared to demonstrate biblical hospitality, to share their
faith with people in the community, or to effectively integrate new people into
the life of the church. Pastors and other church leaders who want to help their
congregations do effective outreach and demonstrate biblical hospitality find
that intentional study on faith-sharing and hospitality makes a difference.
Consider strategies like:
__________________________
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Exit Interviews • New Life Ministries Report • © 2003
